"The Kick Return*"

O.K., O.K, O.K., just relax. You’ve been here before. How many times have you had this same exact feeling? Plenty of times! So take a deep breath and we’ll play this one by the book…

Here’s my general progression the day following a devastating loss:

Step 1: The “Shock” phase: This consists of me sort of stumbling around in a daze wondering, “What the hell happened?”

Step 2: The “Why Me” phase: More moping around, although this is more or less me mumbling to myself over and over again some form of, “What did I do to deserve this?”

Step 3: The “Transition” period: This is when I start fading from the “Why Me” phase to the “Anger” phase. This usually takes a while…it’s a culmination of watching Sportscenter, reading the various articles dedicated to my misery, talking to my Dad, my brother, my brother-in-law, and my buddies all going through the same thing. The gamut of emotions that range at this time can’t be classified into one section, but it inevitable ends up in…

Step 4: The “Anger” phase or the “What the F@ck” phase: Pretty self-explanatory. At some point during this time, I swear off sports (Ohio sports especially) or vow never to take anything so seriously again…which then leads to guilt, which then leads back to anger for feeling so guilty about something that makes me feel so shitty…it’s a vicious cycle.

Stage 5: The “Hopelessness” period: “We blew it…I’ll never root for a winner! I’m cursed!”

Stage 6: The “Healing” phase: The endless barrage of “The sun will come out tomorrow” type speeches by my girlfriend finally starts to sink in, and the healing can now begin.

(These steps take anywhere from a day, to a week, to a month or longer to get through...but since I've been here so many times, it's mercifully getting easier.)

----------------------------------------------------------------

Monday night’s game was a tough one to swallow, just for the sheer shock of it all. I think my good friend Taylor summed it up the best when he emailed, “I just wish we lost a close game, or even looked competitive. I’m not even pissed about it, we were just so bad that I don’t know what to think.” With all of us being dual Cleveland/Ohio State fans, we’ve seen our fair share of “shockers”. But if the likes of “The Drive”, “The Fumble”, “The Shot”, “the Jose Mess-up”, or anything from the "Cooper years" were like taking a swift kick to the frank and beans, then Monday nights National Championship game was like taking a shovel to the face.

(To hammer the point home, by the end of the game I had the “Winston after he got ran over by the ghost of the derailed subway train in Ghostbusters 2” look on my face. All I needed was Egon exclaiming afterwards, “Did anyone catch the number of the locomotive?” “Sorry…I missed it…but I think the plates were from Florida.)

Do I think we lost because of a 51-day layoff? No, that’s a cop-out (although seeing how Michigan played against USC, I guarantee they start scheduling that game a little later. They both looked like they were on sedatives.) Do I think there is a curse on the Heisman trophy? No, although it is difficult to not be distracted by the whirlwind media attention that comes with the honor (Quinn, McFadden, and Smith all had horrible Bowl games, although I didn’t see Brady Quinn or Darren McFadden banging strippers at Scores in New York following the presentation). All in all, I think the entire team was completely swept up by all the hype. Finally, do I think losing Ted Ginn Jr. hurt? Yes, but not 42-14 hurt.

(By the way, since its fun for Ohioans to come up with clever names to describe their heartache, I will stop referring to the 2007 National Championship Game and start calling it “The Kick Return”. Thank you Roy Hall! Thanks a f#ckin’ bunch!)

No, what we got was an old-fashioned beat-down. We got out-ed on every level: Out-played, out-hustled, out-muscled, and more importantly out-coached. If you’ve listened to any of Jim Tressel’s talking points over this season, the concept of accountability and taking responsibility should stand out. That being said, the blame for this whole debacle goes squarely on the shoulders of Coach Tressel.

So what happened? How could he go from being such a big game genius to laying one of the biggest eggs in Ohio State history? I think it could be any number of things, but I think he bought too much into his own “deity” status that all Ohio State fans saddled him with. He tried beating an SEC team by playing an SEC-type game instead of playing our own Big Ten game, and that played right into Urban Meyer’s hands. I know nothing (in fact I know less than nothing) about coaching a football team, but even I knew after the first offensive series that our O-line was incredibly over-matched in their pass protection. Even after our only successful drive (by running the ball no less), he continued to rely on the pass instead of the run, and before you could say “SEC Speed” the game was out of control. Despite being (in my opinion) the best in-game coach in the country, he simply refused to adjust his gameplan. Basically saying, "I'm Jim Tressel, and we can win any type of game, as long as I am the coach."

O.K., so it’s midnight, the chariot turned back into a pumpkin, and Jim Tressel is not as infallible as we all thought. But you know what? It’s not all that bad. Coach Tressel took a natural step that all great coaches take. Woody Hayes was notorious for losing in the Rose Bowl, but always managed to get his team in the NC picture and win a few. Pete Carrol not only lost in the National Championship game, but also lost in his rivalry game and blew another chance at the title, all in the same year. Hell, Bob Stoops lost big in a National Championship game and just got publicly beat by Boise State. All great coaches have tough losses, they wouldn't be great coaches if they didn't. And soon enough Urban Meyer will find that one out as well.

One more thing, sure he didn't look as sharp as usual, but Troy Smith is taking an unfair amount of criticism. How can he be expected to do anything behind that Offensive Line? (Speaking of which, let me leave a message for Troy Smith: I know your dream job is to play quarterback for the Cleveland Browns, but you just got a crash course on what life is like for the man who leads the Brown and Orange. Do you think Charlie Frye enjoys playing hurt every week, constantly on the run behind a pathetic offensive line? Do yourself a favor; go win a super bowl with a team that has a chance. Trust me on this; get out while you still can!)

What’s done is done. I woke up yesterday morning, quickly blew through Steps 1 – 5, and started to begin the healing process. Even if we sometimes treat it like it’s bigger than life, it’s still just a game. And I’ll tell you one thing, I’ll be really sad to see this senior class (and perhaps a few of our juniors) leave for the NFL. Over the past few months, this team carried themselves with more class than I’ve ever seen by a team with that big of a spotlight (and that certainly can’t be said for Pete Carroll’s Trojans, Lloyd Carr’s Wolverine’s, or Urban Meyer’s Gators – Chris Leak notwithstanding). I have never been more proud to be a Buckeye than I have been these past few months and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

So when you get knocked down, pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and get back on that bicycle! It’s Basketball season baby, and we’ve got LeBron James and Greg Oden to dull the pain. WITNESS.

GO BUCKEYES (and at least we’re not Michigan)!

*Originally I called this "The Celebration", but upon further review I thought this was too jovial for the way I was feeling, so I changed it to "The Kick Return".